As I sit here on the eve of my daughter's first birthday, I think back to about 10 years ago.
Ten years ago, I was told I shouldn't even bother trying to have children. That, I would NEVER get pregnant, and quite frankly I should just consider a hysterectomy at the ripe age of 21. I remember walking out of the doctor's office that day; sad, hopeless, and really angry. I never gave up faith that I would one day have children, even if it meant adoption.
In 2003, my ex-husband and I undergone fertility treatment. We had tried for 2 years to get pregnant, and still did not want to "give up" as my OB had stated I should do back in 2001. Our fertility doctors at that point, found out that not only I had issues with conception, but my ex at the time also had major complications. We were sure at that point we would need to adopt.
That Christmas (2003), I got my first kitten, Lucy. She was my "baby". Then, January 2004, I got Jasmine, and in June 2004, Smeegle which was a rescue. My cat Lucy passed away from us in April 2011. Smeegle was lost in my divorce, but doing well with my ex-husband. Jasmine, is a very, very loved furr-baby.
Anyway, years passed, and December 2005 rolled around, I was battling infertility again and really, really wanting a baby. My cats weren't filling the "void" anymore. December 17th, 2005 I was artificially inseminated with donor sperm. My ex-husband and I thought for sure, this was going to be a fail, that this was a "waste of time", and that the outcome would NEVER be a baby.
On January 4th, 2006, I found out I was pregnant with my son. I was shocked, happy, excited, scared, all rolled into one. My whole pregnancy with him was a "scary" time, to say the least. Anybody that knows me, knows all I went through to get him safely into this world. All 1 pound 11 ounces of him, was born on June 7th, 2006 at 26weeks gestation (14 weeks early). At that point, I was a mother! Sure, science played a HUGE roll in getting my son here, but he is here--- and I surely showed my OB docs from 2001, that the person that they said would never had a baby, did so.
In July 2008, my current husband and I, found out we were expecting. We were completely shocked! There was no medical intervention, no "science experiments". The person that was told they would never get pregnant, just showed those OB's yet again, that things CAN happen. This time without any sort of fertility treatment! Unfortunately, I did miscarry that pregnancy, but just getting pregnant "on my own", really put a lot of "hope" back into my life. I never thought I would have a chance having another baby after Keith.
April 2010, I found out again I was pregnant! I felt like the first few months of pregnancy I was walking on egg shells with God to please let me have this baby. I seen high risk pregnancy doctors from very early on in pregnancy and throughout. I took hormones just after finding out I was pregnant, received a cerclage, and continued with hormone shots all to "help" make sure I did not miscarry, or have the baby too early. All in all, the pregnancy was awesome. I never got to a point with Keith to feel him move, or feel the uncomfortable part of being pregnant--- to feel all of that with my baby girl, was AMAZING!
On the morning of December 6th, 2010 my baby girl Kyleighann Hope was delivered to us at 10:20am in the morning. I will NEVER forget the feeling of seeing my baby girl, and holding her for the first time. I missed all of that with my son, so it's just sooo special to have that with her. My eyes are tearing up as a type this, so I think I will end now.
I'm just sooo truly blessed and honored to be a mom. Things aren't always easy, but God has shown me so much by giving me my precious babies. I never was supposed to have children, and now I have 2 beautiful precious people, and the unconditional love that they give off, is like nothing that anyone can ever give you.
If you are finding my blog through an infertility search, please, please have hope that you may one day too be successful in your journey to mother-hood.
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